A Lawyer’s Twelve Days Of Christmas

December 16, 2016

By Brian Babcock

On the first day of Christmas my client asked me “who owns a partridge in a pear tree?”

I answered that no one owns wild game, but domestic fowl are another tale indeed.

On the second day of Christmas, my client asked me “what if I fall in love and we want to become two turtle doves?”

I said that you better get a domestic contract before you cohabit or marry.

On the third day of Christmas, my client asked me “what if I have three little hens and my turtle dove and I part?”

I said you will need a separation agreement to protect those hens.

On the fourth day of Christmas, my client asked me “who owns that songbird’s tune?”

I said copyright belongs to the writer unless assigned.

On the fifth day of Christmas my client asked me “what if I put a gold ring on it?”

I said marriage voids a will so time to get a new one.

On the sixth day of Christmas my client asked me “if my little goose lays a golden egg, what should I do?”

I said a child’s income must be held in trust.

On the seventh day of Christmas my client said to me “my neighbours’ swans are fouling my beach, can I stop them?”

I said it depends on whether you or the Township owns the beach and suggested a title search and survey.

On the eighth day of Christmas my client asked me to help them buy more milk quota to keep their maids a milking.

On the ninth day of Christmas my client asked me about the risk of ladies dancing.

I offered to draft a waiver form.

On the tenth day of Christmas my client asked me about lords a leaping off his roof.

I said he better have good liability insurance.

On the eleventh day of Christmas my client complained to me about the neighbour’s pipes a piping.

I explained about the law of nuisance.

On the twelve day of Christmas my client complained to me about drummers drumming.

I suggested an injunction – or perhaps some earplugs instead.

Throughout the year, we at Weilers do serious work for our clients. At this time of year, we try to have a bit of fun and wish you all a very happy and safe holiday season.

(This article was previously published in the December 2014 issue of Thunder Bay Business newspaper. Brian Babcock contributes monthly articles to that publication on legal points of interest. Fhara Pottinger assisted in drafting this bit of whimsy. She is much funnier than Brian)